Thursday, February 28, 2008

Insecurity ... Do you have this?

Insecurity - lack of confidence or assurance... This is what i've got...

You may look at me as a happy person... A person with a positive attitude... But mind you, i am not..

It is so sad to have this attitude within me... I don't know how to get rid of it... I do have a lot of insecurities... Maybe, its the main reason why most of my relationships failed...

I honestly tried my best to be contented... I even tried to motivate myself to be positive and be more optimistic with life.. But everytime i see people having a good life or living a happy life, i know i am and i feel insecured...

I just can't figure out why am i like this? Whenever i see goodlooking people and even taller guys i know it lowers down my self confidence...

I know and i've heard a lot of times that no one's perfect... I keep on asking myself, how does it feel to be taller? What's life gonna be when im close to perfection (you know, having a good life and having EVERYTHING in life)...

Aaah... its just all in my dreams...

Insecurities >>> could sometime kill people...

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Monday, February 25, 2008

Thank you for your LOVE

I know and i accept that LOVE doesn't give us license to own a person, that LOVE doesn't guarantee permanence...

I have been longing for that long lasting relationship. BUt it seems that luck isn't on my side (as always). I know i give love a 100%, but whatever i do it still doesn't give assurance of a lasting relationship. What went wrong, i ask myself? Is there something wrong with the way i give my LOVE?

I know i can't force you to love me when deep in your heart you don't. I can't beg you to stay when deep inside your heart you want to be with someone else.

It hurts but i really have to let you go. ANd by letting you go doesn't mean i don't love you, but its because i have to, it's because it is the right thing for me to do.

You see, in LOVE there is always sacrifice. There is always learning. And it is about accepting everything.

The end of LOVE is not the end of LIFE. It should be the beginning of understanding that love leaves for a reason. LOVE leaves with a lesson and it is only when we learn from it that we are able to gain the wisdom and the courage to move on and find LOVE again.

And that's why i thank you even though "us" failed. Coz of you, i learned to be strong and ready to face life's test once again.

I thank you for giving your love even for awhile. Keep in mind, that i'll always treasure every single moment that we've been together.

Thank YOU !!

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A BIG THANKS TO YOU ROCKY!!

Have you noticed how my blogspace look? Im sure you do....

Just want to extend my BIG THANKS to a good friend who's into web designing... Sa mga gustong magpabuhat ug website just contact me para i-contact pud natu siya...

His name is Rocky... Dili ni siya ako, dili pud siya ako... hehehe

To you ROCKS... THANKS KAAYO!!

Nice kaayo imuhang gibuhat!!

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Sunday, February 17, 2008

DONT USE me again...!!

Pardon me for being so biased, but i have to post this so as to express my Support to the sitting President..

I know a lot of people have been disappointed by whats been going on... Just like you, i also want to know the truth... The truth about certain allegations, if there's truth behind it or it is just part of the entertainment inside the world of politics...

I have to be honest, but im finding it hard to trust our leaders these days... Some maybe a good friend today, but turns out to be an enemy tomorrow. And because of that, i lose interests in believing what they say... Even if i feel like there's a truth behind a certain thing, still i have doubts...

I guess you feel the same way too... Nararamdaman kong pinaglalaruan lang tayo nitong mga pulitikong ito...

No matter what, im still supporting President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo... I know that she's been working so hard to get the philippines into the right track and that is to improve our economy... We may not feel it now because of the bickerings inside politics but sooner or later im sure we'll reap the sweetness of it...

I'd still support the President because i know she's doing great in her job...

Just last Friday, some senators, congressmen, businessmen, media people, leftists and all bleeding hearts out there called for the president to step down and asked the people to join them...

This is the only thing that i coul tell YOU!! I am not allowing myself to be used by SELFISH and ARROGANT so called LEADERS like YOU!!!

So why is De Venecia calling for a moral recovery in the government JUST NOW? After He was ousted speaker of the house? I'll call it BITTERNESS!!! I'm sure, just like anyone else out there, some of these leaders also wanted to grab a portion of that kickbacks and that is for their OWN INTERESTS!!

" I am angry. And I know that there are many out there who are angrier than I am for the same reason. And that reason is simple. I am sick and tired of all you guys claiming to speak for me and many Filipinos. I feel like screaming every time you mouth words about fighting my freedom and my rights, when you obviously are just thinking about yours. You tell me that the essence of democracy is providing every citizen the right to speak his or her mind and make his or her own informed judgements, but you yourselves do not respect my silence and the choices I and many others have made.

" In other words, your concept of democracy is limited to having your rights and freedoms respected, at the expense of ours. I am utterly flabbergated that you still do not get it: we already responded to your calls, and our response has been very clear - we chose not to heed your calls to go to EDSA or to FORT BONIFACIO not because we dont love our country or our freedoms or our rights, but precisely because we love our country even more. Because quited frankly, we are prepared to lose our freedoms and our rights just to move this country forward. You may counter with your ideological propaganda and give me all the dire warnings about the evils of Martial Law, authoritarian rule, suppression of freedom, etc., but quite frankly all we see is your pathetic efforts to defend your right to continue fulminating, filibustering, and sabotaging this country until you wrestle power yourselves. You tell me that you are simply protecting any freedoms and my rights, but who told you to do that? I assure you that when I feel that my rights and my freedoms are at a peril, I will stand up and fight for them myself. I have done that in the past, and I will do it again when I SEE THE NEED FOR IT, not when you tell me to do it.

"You tell us that GMA is not the right person to lead this country because she has done immoral acts. As someone who sees immorality being committed wantonly in many ways everyday and by every one (yes, including the ones you do), I may have become jaded. I may have lowered my standards about what a leader should be. Guess what, Tita Cory, you lowered it yourself. When i accepted your incompetence and fought for you during the many attempts against your government, I already lowered the standards to ridiculous levels. Guess what Senators and Congressmen, you lowered it yourselves when you ran for office and won and now make fools of yourselves in the august halls of congress.

"But the simple truth that you try to obfuscate is this; you have not been able to offer me any viable alternative! On the other hand, GMA has bent over backwards amny times to accomodate you while continuing to work hard despite all the obstacles and the brickbats you have thrown her way.

"From where I sit, she is the one who has been working really hard to move this country forward while all of you have been so busy with one and only one thing: to make sure she does not succeed. So forgive me if I do not want to join you in your moral pissing contest. Forgive me if I have chosen to see things from another perspective. You say she is the problem. I say, we are - all of us is the problem; more to the point, I think you are a bigger problem than she is. Taking her out may solve part of the problem, but that leaves us with a bigger problem; YOU. That is right, YOU!

"While I felt outraged that she called a Comelec official during the elections and that she may have rigged the elections, I have since then taken the higher moral ground and forgiven her. Yes my dear bishops, I have done what you have told me to do since I was a child, which you say is the Christian and moral thing to do: FORGIVE. Especially since she has asked for forgiveness and has tried to make amends for it. ERAP certainly has not apologized and continues to be defiant, continuing to insult us everyday with his protestations - and he is part your cause now! Cory has not apologized for her incompetence but we have forgiven her just the same because like GMA, she has worked hard after all.

Through this, I as a citizen of this free nation would still continue supporting the working president.. GLORIA MACAPAGAL ARROYO!!

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Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Let your heart speaks..

Sometimes...

Letting it out to make a BIG difference...

But sometimes you gotta let your heart speaks...

You gotta let it out...

No matter what your going through...

I know how it feels...

I know its hard to reveal...

But let your heart speaks...

LOVE IS FOREVER...

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Monday, February 11, 2008

Help me ULAN to make good decisions

Haay, ang sarap talaga pag malamig ang panahon... Nakakapag-isip tuloy ako ng kung anu-ano... Pag malamig kasi ang panahon parang ang lamig din ng aking ulo... Kaya tuloy kung ano-anong bagay ang pumapasok sa utak ko...

Nakatingin lang ako sa labas ng inet cafe na pinagbabantayan ko... Tinitingnan ko yung mga taong naglalakad habang dahan dahang nababasa ang kanilang mga uniporme dahil sa patak ng ulan... Malapit lang kasi sa MATS COllege, MMFC at Holy Cross (high school) ang inet cafe na pinagbabantayan ko... Kaya kitang kita ko yung mga estudyanteng dumadaan... Aside from that, dito rin dumadaan ang mga sasakyang bitbit ang mga anak ng mayayamang nag-aaral sa ateneo at kung ano ano pang exclusive schools dito sa davao... Kitang-kita talaga ang kaibahan ng mayaman sa mahirap noh? Pag wala ka kasing sasakyan, mapipilitan kang mag-abang ng jip papunta sa skul mo... Pahirapan pa ang pagsakay sa jip dahil agawan din... Mas lalong mahirap pag ganitong umuulan... Ang mga anak ng mayaman, ang gagara ng kanilang mga kotse... Samantalang ang mga mahihirap, nakikiangkas sa punong jip... At pag sinuwerte "habal-habal" pa ang masasakyan mo...

Pero sabi nga nila, sobrang boring naman ang mundo kung pantay pantay lahat ng tao... Wala nga namang kabuluhan kung lahat na lang mayaman... Eto ako, mahirap lang kaya nababantayan ko ang mga mayayaman... Nangangarap na sana isang araw magkaroon din ako ng sariling sasakyan... Mapag-aral ang mga anak sa mamahalin at eksklusibong eskwelahan... Haay, ano kaya ang feeling ng isang mayaman...

Lalo pang lumalakas ang patak ng ulan... Kaya lalong lumamig dito sa loob ng shop... Naisip ko, ok naman ang life ko a... Naiinggit ako minsan pero masaya ako sa buhay ko ngayon...

Naisip ko rin, if i really have to resign from my work and look for another job... Pero as of now, nag-eenjoy naman ako sa work ko... My friends in Manila have been offering me to work with them...

Honestly, di kasi naging maganda ang morning ko today... I have a partner in the morning show at Love Radio pero parang di ako satisfied with what he's got... I gave him the things that we have to do in the show pero dine-deviate niya sarili niya to it... I am not saying na magaling ako, all i wanted is for the show to run smooth and at the same time funny... Minsan kasi, kung ano ano na lang naiisip namin... Paano kasi, he's not concentrating sa kanyang work... Puro na lang kalokohan... Diba it's nice to listen sa mga DJ's na funny pero di naman annoying? Minsan feeling naging annoying na kami sa mga listeners...

Right now, dahil sa ulan, i am contemplating tuloy on resigning from my work and find something else... Ayokong may kasamang bobo dahil mas lalo rin akong nabobobo...

Ayan, tumila na ang ulan... Pero parang babalik na naman siya mamaya kasi ang itim pa rin ng langit... Sana sa pagtila ng ulan, i would be able to come up with a good decision...

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Saturday, February 9, 2008

Playlist sa Iring iring (Listen up)



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Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Getting a third party for a test...

In every relationship there is always a test to prove how strong your love for each other... And one of the most conclusive ways in putting a relationship to the test is to introduce a third party... This party would always come into the picture and try to disturb the balance of a seemingly healthy relationship... This has a two edged sword that may either destroy or make a stronger relationship...
The beauty of every relationship lies not only in the beauty of it's beginning but in it's consistency... We all change and sometimes we change to destroy the very relationships that we are trying to hold dearly in our hearts...
In making a decision, you don't have to rush... You are not buying a grocery item that you can just return when you're dissatisfied... You are getting into a new relationship when you have just barely gotten out of the old one... Unless you are absolutely sure that you are over, then do not commit yourself to anyone for you to know it will be unfair to both you and that person... Give yourself a little more time to think and give that third party to prove their worth... Make a choice not on impulse but a decision based on a healthy balance of mind and heart...
Let us always remember, that happiness is not a matter of destiny but a matter of choice...

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Tuesday, February 5, 2008

A hope for a new tomorrow...

There are times in our lives when we are swift over by raging emotions... Times when we are overwhelmed by sadness, overcome by misery... Times when we feel that we are loved only for the worth of others could get from us.. AND NOT FOR WHO WE REALLY ARE...

It is natural to feel this way... Sometimes we all need to be alone, to feel blue, to feel lonely, to listen to a song and cry...

Then we asked ourselves, Why does this song have to end? Why do we have to cry when love is taken away from us? Why does it have to hurt, when we let go of someone we love?

In a relationship we treasure, The hardest thing to do is saying goodbye.. and setting someone free... For in every last embrace, A part of us dies... Every teardrop that falls, washes away our hopes, then we are left with nothing, but pain and bitter memories, because we have lost love but never knew how and will probably never know why?

We tried to get away, but every move we make somehow has its way, of reminding us of the past all over again.. Every turn of our head and every blink of an eye, reminds us of LOVE. Lost in eternity, and it makes us wonder how one person can make us feel so empty? So alone, so desolate..

Every song, no matter how beautiful it is will have to end on its last note. Like everyday has its night, All that has started will have to end in its own time. It is an inevitably that we cannot restrain, something that we cannot control, and just a fact that we have to accept, and live up with.

Let us remember that our lives doesnt have to end, where our heartaches begin. Somewhere, someone will come along, and sing us his song of love.

Someday, someone will feel our lives with joy and happiness. Somehow, we will find love again.. and it will wiped away our tears and bring a promise of a new life, a new hope and a beautiful beginning.

Monday, February 4, 2008

MU with another girl even if im in a relationship

Lisud as in lisud jud likayan ang mga temptations sa atuang life noh? Everywhere you go no matter how hard you try to avoid, still it will come your way...

I have a girlfriend now and yet i am beginning to like this "other" girl... Everytime she looks at me it's like im melting... Everytime she smiles at me, is like a "Come on" to be with her...

Crap, i hate this feeling.. I know i have to avoid her but everytime she looks at me im stuck...

Some friends would tell "go ahead dens, take the opportunity, its better to have two at the same time while in a relationship and not married... Pero what if, i took the chances and yet the chances isnt good for me...?? What if its a stupid decision??? I dont want to left my girl....

Haay....!!! Am i just attracted to her? Do i need to nurse this feeling and go for it? Or should i just discipline myself and stick with my current relationship???

Haay, sana paggising ko one day, everythings back to normal... Kung meron lang reboot or restore ang tao e sana ginawa ko na... Am i just infected with a certain virus?? Ouch!! I hope not!!

Yeah its true, you can love as many as you can, BUT one at a time lang... not two, or three at the same time... I guess ill just have to make up my mind...

I guess i'll just have to think of it this way.. It will be unfair for my girl if i entertain those kinds of thoughts... I guess i'll just try to look deeper sa personality ng gf ko... Ano pa bang kulang sa kanya na hinahanap ko pa sa iba? Sooner or later i really have to make up my mind... And if that happens, I should be able to make the right decision. Is it going to be my gf or the other girl? Am i willing to gamble on a new and unsure relationship or am i going to keep the current one and try to make the relationship flourish or move to a new level?

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WHY I HATE LOVE?

"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it?

It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up.

You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you.

They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore.

Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like "maybe we should be just friends" turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love"

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IS IT YOU?

I'm looking for a lover not a friend
Somebody who can be there when I need someone to talk to
I'm looking for someone who won't pretend
Somebody not afraid to say the way they feel about you

And I'm looking for someone who understands how I feel,
Someone who can keep me real and who knows
The way I like to have it my way

And I'm looking for someone who takes me there,
Wants to share, shows he cares..
Thinking you're the one that I've been waiting for

Is it you? is it you?
Maybe you're the one I've been waiting for
Could you be the one for me?
Could you be the one I need?
Could you be?

I'm looking for someone to share my pain...
Someone who I can run to, who would stay with me when it rains
Someone who I can cry with through the night
Someone who I can trust whose heart is right

And I'm looking for someone who understands how I feel,
Someone who can keep me real and who knows
The way I like to have it my way
And I'm looking for someone who takes me there,
Wants to share, shows he cares
Thinking on the one that I've been waiting for
Someone who won't take me for granted
How much I care
And appreciates that I'm there
Someone who listens
And someone I can call who isn't afraid of love to share

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Saturday, February 2, 2008

Sharing some of my productions...

I've been a broadcaster for quite sometime now... Ohhh puleeezzz, dont ask me na lang kung pila na katuig...

In this business there's no guarantee that you'll be staying for good... There's a lot of things pa jud nga kinahanglang matun-an... Everyday should be a learning process... Everyday activities changes your attitude and your outlook in life...

Sa first few years naku sa radio, I'm so thankful to Jeremiah (who's now the asst. mgr of MOR) for teaching me how to remix and mixed music... He was my mentor in making productions... So, i say THANK YOU!!

Now, daghan na kung nabuhat nga mga productions from different business establishments... I would like to share it to all of you...

http://rockiedee.imeem.com/playlist/YJ3GmBj0/adsplugs_music_playlist/

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Magpaka-showbiz lang sa gud ta?

Lahat tayo nakaka-encounter ng problems... And most of that, well unsa pa kundi LOVE... Haayy!! Kakalorkei talaga pag yan na ang problemang haharapin natin...

When we have love problems, parang gusto na nating tapusin lahat ug kung weak ka ug heart, magpakamatay dayun... Maayo unta ug diretso kamatay unya ug maalanganin? Dugang antos na pud na hinuon... Hahay lang gihapon...

Ang uban magpa-pretend nga ok pero deep inside sobrang sakit na diay ang gibati... Pero i salute those peeps nga kabawu mudala sa ilahang mga problema... Kung imung tan-awon murag way nakapabuang sa iyahang utok... Mao siguro ni ang mga ginatawag ug "strong people.."

Ako, im not gonna say that im strong... Muhilak man gani ko kung masakitan pero i know where and when naku ipatulo ang luha... Awww, speaking of luha, ngano man kaha kung maghilak ta naa may luha?... Ahehehe...

Ingun ani man jud ang life oi... Usahay OK kaayo, usahay murag mubuto na ang atuang dughan sa sama ng loob... Alam naman natin na hindi agad mawawala ang PAIN, kinahanglan lang ta siguro nga maanad... We need to be strong kay everything man daw has a purpose... Hahay na pud..!!

Minsan kailangan nating magpaka-showbiz na tayo'y OK but we just have to bear in mind nga kung unsa may mahitabo wa tay laing buhaton kundi TO MOVE ON!!!...

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