Baryo Patay Bitaw...

Pagkapait na lang jud ning panahon nga laay kaayo. Way laing mahuna-hunaan kundi ang magpasiaw na lang. Unsaun, kung magtapok gani tanang inatik manggawas.

Pero naa baya puy nindut nga mabuhat ning laay ang panahon. Dakung tabang sab sa akua ning kainit oie kay duna jud koy mamahimong rasun halimbawa na ning mga tawo nga nagapang-invite to go into their house. Hahaha feeling artista na man gud ning akuang kaagi karun. Every now and then, dunay mga invitations arun daw makita ang akuang ka-wafu... *asus?* hihihi

Grabe bitaw kainit sa panahon karun. Pag-abot pud naku sa bay kay haskang kaigang sab. Naa pay akuang kwarto nga way bintana maong nisamot jud ang kaigang. Hala, di jud ko makuntento sa electric fan. Saun man nga wa man koy ikapalit ug aircon.

Anyway, back dire sa akuang haybul.. Nia ra ko sa ofis oie. Dire lang jud ko maka-internet. Salamat na lang kay WI-FI na ning amuang opisina. So anytime makagamit mi ug internet.

Most of us here sa istasyon di na palupig oie. Mura gud mi ug mga Med-Rep kay kung manggawas na gani sa office, dunay mga bitbit nga bag na itum sulod ang amuang laptop. Hahaha.. Sosyal noh? Bisan pa man gani nga nia ang amuang opisina sa nailhang Baryo Patay, aww grabe lang gihapon ang amuang pagka feeling sosyal. Hahaha...!!!

Daghan man gud mangantyaw sa amu nga mga taga-laing istasyon nga hadluk daw ning amuang istasyon kay nia sa Baryo Patay. Nah, bahala na oie, safe man hinuon mi ngari kay kaila na namu ning mga killers, holdapers, kawaterns ug uban pa. Bahala nag unsay ilahang ipang kantyaw sa amua basta feeling sosyal gihapon mi.. Wahehehe..

Bitaw oie, pahuway sa ko sa pagtuplok tuplok kay mag-work sa ko. Hehehe... Basin ug masakspan ko sa akuang boss nga igu lang ko ga-chat ug buhat ug blogs. Delikado unya ang akuang bonus.

Till next time...

Being Nice is Hard...

Its hard to fathom that I live in a world (or city), where being nice, courteous or gentlemen-like is looked upon as weird or creepy by some.

I mean, it's not hard so why can't people just say "what's up?" or "nice to meet you" to someone you're not familiar with once acquainted within eye length.

Some people just look at you (and I know alot of people feel that having someone look at you should be given permission); if you look at me and I don't know you, I will say "hello" to you or expect you to do just the same. I mean if we don't, it's cool, no worries. Just don't make me regret saying "hi" by having you act rude.

I mean, I would understand if you KNOW the person, and refuse to acknowledge them because you KNOW they're a creep. I'm totally with that.

I'd just rather have someone not look at me weird for being friendly mainly most you high school kids you have no real world experience. This is why Rockiedee is so lame. And for all those people who've said "hi's" and "bye's" or even just talk without a real intro, you's cool in my book.

I just don't get what's so wrong with saying "hello, nice to meet you." Or for just being nice for that matter. We live in an internet world, where people are just turned off by that. Maybe I'm just too old school, maybe it's just me, but I just think its kinda sad.

I miss my LIFE...

Uyyy!! Musta na? It's been quite awhile since my last post and missed everything here. Kasi naman, sira ng almost 1 week and DSL here. So I wasnt able to check my emails, my FS account, and everything... Hahay !! Kainis talaga...

Eto, bumabalik na ang net pero once in awhile nawawala rin... Hahay uli... at Kainis uli...

Anyway, I'm soo glad that I am here ready to post in anything na lumalabas sa utak ko.

Two weeks na rin since I checked out Limso Hospital dahil sa sakit ko and until now di parin nawawala ang ubo ko. I have to admit na minsan nakakaligtaan ko ring uminom ng gamot because of sobrang pagod. Most of the time kasi, nakakauwi na ako ng around 6pm or 7pm. Pagdating sa house, maglalaba pa ako. Kaya after ng lahat, i couldn't help but to sleep na lang.

I was wondering kung if i would still have a nitelife. Things that I wanna do. Nakakabagot na rin kasing magmukmok sa bahay and not find time to go out. Hahaha... I gotta be honest with you. For how many months na rin akong di nakakapunta ng mall. Gosh! Buti na lang, nagpaayos ako ng laptop and so I have a reason na to go to the mall. Nanibago talaga ako. Para akong ignorante becoz naging weird ang feeling when I got in to G-Mall.

Same as usual pa rin ang Gaisano Mall. Daming estudyante, mga naka-uniform ng puti na mga siyempre nursing studes.. Merong mga high school students na I dunno kung pumapasok ba sa school or naglalakwatsa lang.

Pag pumupunta ako ng Mall, di talaga pwedeng di ako magawi sa 4th Floor... Hmmm Akin na lang ang reason why di pwedeng makaligtaan ang 4th floor.. Pero the place is memorable to me.

Anyway, I am getting older na rin and i feel like I havent enjoyed much of my "singleness". Parang there are a lot of things that I feel like I shouldn't miss. Kaso, I wasn't born nga na mayaman so I have to make tipid. Kaya I have to sacrifice my nitelife and just stay na lang sa house.

Ohh yeah, thanks nga pala sa mga taong tumulong sa akin to update my laptop. THANK YOU!! Libre kasi... hahaha...

Me and my Low Self-Esteem

i have always had issues when it comes to my self confidence.

since i was a kid i would always try to shy away from attention and other people cause i feel like i’m not worthy to be noticed. it’s like i have a terrible disease that i am ashamed to let other people discover.

i’ve had my share of some school competitions that i joined when i was younger. in my primary school days i joined poetry writing contests, oratorical and declamation contests and the like. knowing that i had experiences in such competitions, one would wonder why am i saying that i have confidence issues when the competitions i mentioned clearly needed the confidence to be there.

i was able to muster a bit of the confidence needed during those times and yes, that was enough. for the time being at least. all that mattered to me was to let the time pass and have it done with.

it’s strange that i am talking about my lack of self confidence when you would clearly think that what i am talking about is non sense. you may be thinking, “how could you say that i lack self confidence?”

well, it all started when i was young. i am the youngest of my siblings and as such, my dad wanted me to lead and set a good example to my relatives.

so i did what i could to help around. but my dad had a bad temper and would tend to yell everytime i make i mistake or sees something that he doesn’t like.

he would yell at me and call me stupid in front of everyone. well, by everyone i mean my siblings at least. and much to my dismay, i would even catch my older brother snickering at me seeing that i am bein scolded by our dad.

those instances cut deeply into my heart and etched a scar in my very identity. that led me to having self esteem issues.

those times made me think less of my self. i felt like everyone is looking down at me and that i am near worthless.

of course i have relatives and friends who support me and tell me otherwise. especially my Lola, who has always been there when i needed a shoulder to cry on and when my dad yelled at me. she always comes to the rescue.

but eventhough she talks to me saying that i’m a nice person and i’m not worthless, the wound that the experience has given me never did heal.

up until now i have issues when it comes to my self esteem.

people, my friends specifically, tell me that i am good looking but then i would just laugh and say, “you’re jsut saying that cause you are my friends.”

i don’t know how to accept compliments because at the back of my head i’m still thinkin that those are not true. i tend to look down on my self and think that i am not worthy of any of those praises or compliments that people are givin me.

this feeling has given a huge effect on me. on my personal life as well as my career. i just need to find a way on how to overcome this. i jsut wish i knew what that is. cause when low self esteem kicks in, for sure i won’t be able to function well…

I was meant for you...

have you ever had that one song, no matter how stupid it is or how much it makes you think about the girl you dont want to think about, you just cant turn it off? So you sit and cry, or you sit and just think about them. I never noticed that i did that til today, its bad when your convinced that you dont have feelings for someone and then realize you do only because you heard a song...

If you could erase all the bad memories from a relationship, and risk losin all the good ones too.....would you? Sometimes I think it would be better if i could. but not rememberin how i felt when she held me, or my reaction when she got in the shower with me for the first time. I couldnt possibly give up the first time she slipped up and said I love you, then tried to change the subject. And the face she had when she told me I was her first, and she wanted me to be her last.

Why do people move on when they claim to still love you. How can you love someone so much and not be with them? why do people say your their everything and then treat you like your nothing. People confuse me! why cant you just say what you feel and feel what you say?

I think the reason i'm so ready and willing to give up on love is because my heart still belongs to someone else. but how do you survive when the one whos meant for you, says your not meant for me!

My Sincere THANKS to YOU...

Now i know Who my real FRIENDS are...

After 4 days na nakahiga lang sa ospital, iba-ibang mukha rin ang nakikita ko araw-araw. Some maybe strangers to me but at least i know na concerned din sila sa akin. Most of them are listeners and a few are my friends. Those whom I've expected, ni text wala man lang akong natanggap. Not even a single glimpse sa ospital. Before pa naman ako na-admit, I texted all my friends (*close friends ha?*) na I have decided to consult a doctor para sa aking sakit. Kasi nga naman ilang days rin akong may ubo, sipon, headache, stomachache and flu. Mas grabe talaga ang ubo ko kasi hindi na ako makahinga sa kakaubo.

And so I decided to go to the doctor with the help of my good friend Spaine. Wednesday afternoon 3pm, habang inuubo kinakabahan na ko dahil I know na kapag nasa ospital ka madedextrose talaga. Tutusukan at kung anu-ano pa. Sobrang kaba ko kasi it is going to be my first na ma-ospital. Dati nagkasakit na ako pero hindi ako nagpa-admit. Sa bahay lang ako nun. Pagdating namin sa Limso Hospital, inantay pa namin si Dr. Yap. Medyo matagal-tagal din ang aming pag-aantay. Sobrang inuubo talaga ako even inside the doctors clinic. Nakakahiya man sa ibang pasyente pero wala akong magawa dahil ganito talaga eh. Alas kuwatro na ng hapon when Dr. Yap arrived. Buti na lang second ako sa list. First pa lang ng tingin ng doctor nagulat na siya. Hinga ng malalim pero di ko magawa kasi pag gagawin ko yun aatakehin talaga ako ng ubo. And I wasnt surprised when Dr. Yap told me that I have a Pneumonia. Sobrang punong puno na daw ng phlegm ang aking Lungs. Kaya sinabi niya na kailangan ko ng magpa-admit para matanggal ito. Dito na ako sobrang kinabahan. Kahit na malamig sa loob ng clinic at sa loob ng ospital dahil aircon naman, tagaktak pa rin ang aking pawis.

Pagdating ko sa Emergency Room, kantyaw pa tuloy ang natanggap ko from the Nurses and even the Doctor on duty. Pagtusok ng dextrose, sobrang pawis ko... Lalo na yung ininjeksyunan na ako para sa skin test. Ito yung pinakamasakit... Gusto kong sumigaw pero siyempre nakakahiya naman sa ibang pasyente... Kaya timpi na lang ako. Huhuhu... sobrang sakit talaga..

Tagal pa bago ako nabigyan ng room. Kasi puno na yung mga private rooms nila so sa Suite na lang ako. Mejo expensive pero okey na rin. At least, solo ko yung kwarto. Inside my room sa suite B, alagang alaga ako ng mga nurses. First antibiotic na ininject was super sakit. Kasi nga ipapasok siya sabay ng dextrose. Pagpasok ng medicine sa aking katawan dito ko na namalayan na sobrang sakit nga.

Well, anyway nalagpasan ko rin naman lahat yun. First visitor ko on Wednesday night was Mommy Hajji, Hotmama and Dianne. Sobrang bait talaga nila.

Here are the list of people na gusto kong pasalamatan:

Boss Ricky
Theresa
Boy Kilat and wife abby and boy kilat's sister
Boy Ligwat
Leslie
Mityel
Inday Sinaw
Art Roma
Maam Dina
jenjen 1
jenjen3

And sa mga Iring iring members

Spaine - salamat for always there beside me.
Mommy Hajji - thanks sa fruits, vicks, and prayers
Hotmama
Dianne
boy kagay
josh - thanks sa fruits
devil
troy
isyot
tebur
mommy len
ira
carla
tuffguy - salamat sa always na pagbisita
kae - thanks sa prayers
ngengek and hello kitty - salamat sa lugaw
tearsdeath
shamu
jazzy
Rexel - salamat sa grocery na binigay mo
inday supsop
novzmae
royalblood
at lahat ng mga nagtetext na hindi ko kilala personally..

Sa inyong lahat... MARAMING MARAMING SALAMAT PO!