I am totally confused...

I think I need new friends. Or maybe I need to reconnect with old ones. Or maybe I should just be more open. Or maybe I'm not...anything.

Why are people moody? I think that suddenly people are mad at me or something. They might be but I don't really know. I think I really messed up the whole friend thing. Friends thing. I've been so focused with work that I've really lost touch with everyone and everyone has just moved along.

I guess what I'm trying to say is I can't expect people to come when I call them if I've been ignoring them for so long. And so I shouldn't get upset when people have plans or don't call back because why should they? Are they really friends then?

This is totally not helping with my issues with self esteem and/or trust. If people don't want to hang out with me then I should just hang out with other people. It's just a confusing time now because it's sort of a transition time. I think what really got to me was when one person kind of took me off their friends list on facebook or friendster or multiply, but I realize that we were never friends.

We weren't in high school and they might have only used me during that first year until they've met other people to hang out with. I am just over-analyzing everything and I don't know why I suddenly became so depressed, but I need to get over it. YEAH I NEED TO...